arghhhh...so much STRESS!!!!

arghh...stress..stress... stress and again STRESS
right now i got so much thing to think about. its all about my life right now, and my future..my stressful work, and my hampeh boy...right now i felt so much hate towrd him.. arghhh..why ahh all this thing happen at the same time..could i just get one stress at one time...can i???

first with my boy, then with my living place (just hate to call this place as home, i just got one home...at my hometown...miss it so damn much!!), then still got others prob with my work (duno la until when my work will stop from put stress on me...again...arghhhh). it not that im disappointed or give up or not grateful with thing hapen around, yes i do appreciate it. but when it come to something that over the limit, its will make me feel stress at high level...(thank god cause i got no blood pressure...amin)..that the reason why im so so stress right now...

okey...let me tell one by one...first with my boy..actually from the begin we knew that we got so much differentiation. from color we love, thing we do, choice we made, even though we said...it always different. is that it mean that we are not meant to be together?? arghhh...2 years been together, i can count how much time we got similarities.. ITS HURT ME MUCH!! but, what can i do, both of us wont change..beside, its not worth to change who we are just because of other.. i prefer to be as MYSELF and feeling hurt, rather that pretend to be someone else just because of HIM.. it not the real MCDAA....we always got fight. for me, we fight over nothing. because he know how much i love him and he meant a lot to me, that why he act like noting happen and just keep quiet. what ever i said to him, how much i got anger, at the end im the one who ask for...arghhh...just hate to said that word...

then, now back to second thing thats make me feeling sick!! my living place. my bos just provided us with one room, one bathroom and one kitchen. yes, i do appreciate it. its sound like it was a complete place to live.. but then we have to control our move (because this area got cctv at the corner). its ok, i can handle it, the worse is we have to pretend like this place have no buddy living here. u know what i mean?? make sure every single thing at this place at proper places, kept it tidy with no stuff all around the places, because dont want other to know that this places is a living place for us.. (so hard to tell bout the detail, so silly). in other word, living here will need us to sacrifice our privacy..arghhhhh!!.

last is my WORK. hate it, and got so much regrate. why i chose this work??? still got no answer for the question, maybe its just because of time for work. we start work at 2pm and finish it at 10 pm (no need to wake up in the early  morning..lol)....but working here put so much stress on me. i was asked to complete so much time at very short period, at the same time every work done here is completely not related to my profession. it more on managemant task. there is so much thing i have to learnt. learnt from the basic...arghhhh!! this will make my work become more harder. and we also need to work at the weekend. yes, we got paid and incentive for working overtime..but...arghhhh!!!. i also need time for MYSELF!!!
 
thats all lah for tonite...

p/s: hope my bos didn't read this blog...lol